It started one morning, I woke up in my bedroom, Adventure Time posters plastered on every wall, I was excited because a new Adventure Time episode of Adventure Time was to show. I called my employer and said I wouldn't be coming in today, I made popcorn and suffered through Teen Titans Go! until Adventure Time came on.
That is when my life changed forever.
The intro had a red sky, the ice kingdom was completely melted, and all the candy people looked sickly, darker and had no soul. When it was time for Finn and Jake to fist bump, it showed only Jake who stared intently at me. I was scared and dropped some popcorn, which got stuck on my Finn PJ's.
"Adventure Time, come on grab your shotgun. we're going to very, nuclear lands. Jake the victim, and Finn the killer, the pain will never end, it's an apocolypse." The once cheery man who sang the intro sounded depressed and crying. I dropped my popcorn on the ground, and my dog Jake ate it.
The real episode finally started, showing Finn and jake running from something in the shadows.
"Jake, more coming in on the left!" Finn said as he pulled his arm back from a decayed-looking hand. "I got this!" Jake said as he threw a giant hand at multiple candy people.
The two heroes bust down a door and boarded up the entrance with a big dresser. They were in PB's bedroom, and PB looked quite stressed as she mixed potions together.
"What exactly happened, PB?" Finn asked as he ran to PB's desk.
"Ice King happened. He broke into my lab and mixed random chemicals together, and then he threw it at all the candy people! They all suddenly had the urge to eat candy. They started to eat the buildings, but then they started to eat each other!" PB explained.
"Oh zang." Finn said as he looked down at the floor sadly, but he then re-adjusted himself and said: "That Ice King will pay!"
"No need, Flame Princess casted fire to the Ice Kingdom." PB replied. Suddenly, the dresser fell down and candy people poured inside.
The screen cut to a black screen which said, with red text: 3 MONTHS LATER.
Finn appeared starved and his clothes were damaged, BMO appeared to be weeping in the corner, and Jake looked angry as tears streamed down his cheeks.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY ATE LADY, SHE MAY LOOK LIKE CANDY, BUT... BUT..." Jake bawled as he stomped around the tree house, his size and shape changing very suddenly and randomly. "This is too much man! I can't handle it anymore!" Jake cried, right before there was a constant banging at the door.
"ONE WEEK LATER" The same text appeared. BMO was screaming and running around the room because Finn was choking Jake, Finn appeared skinnier than ever. "Just... get... smaller!" Finn said, his voice was raspy and deeper. "We haven't had anything to eat in so long, we had to sacrifice all of our candy so the zombies would leave us alone, but most our food was ported from the Candy Kingdom!"
Jake finally grew tired, and Finn took a bite out of him, Jake screamed so loud and realistically, I genuinely felt bad for him. I held my tears back though, it was just a cartoon and everything would probably be back to normal next episode, cartoons don't always have to stay consistent. Anyways, back to the episode: BMO screamed and called Finn a monster as he stuffed the rest of Jake down his throat.
"Foolish BMO, you are just a robot, you don't understand how much it hurts to be starved this much." Finn replied, and he suddenly pounced at BMO.
I shut off the TV and ran into my room, I hallucinated that the Jakes on my posters all had a bite out of their head, Finn had blood around his mouth. It was too much, I tore down the posters and stuffed them into a box. I completely rid of all the Adventure time merchandise I had, and drove off to my parents, I simply needed their comfort.
I no longer spend my time on Adventure Time, I barely watch TV at all now, but it does feel good to get this off my chest. I'm done.